"Elders Living Independently"

“Elders Living Independently”

I have decided for this week to address a problem many in our society are currently facing. That problem is whether or not to place our “Elders” into a facility, whether that facility is an Assisted Living facility, or an Independent Living facility. I am not addressing a full service Nursing Home, for that is an entirely different subject. There comes a time in some people’s lives where 24 hour nursing care is a necessity, and that should be solely decided based on the health of our loved one.

I have had the privilege of being in most of our Assisted Living, and Independent living facilities here in Hampton Roads, and it is through this experience that I am writing this particular article. I do not pretend to have all the answers for everyone in regard to this question, but I do believe I am objective enough to give one an alternative view other than the one given by the facilities Marketing Directors, or Client Services. Ultimately, it is up to the family of an “Elder” to make the decision, and even more importantly, it is up to the “Elder” themselves to make this decision. These facilities are not for everyone, and especially not for those elders who have the capacity to remain in their beloved homes that they worked so hard for, and still have the ability to financially maintain.

The fees to live in the above referenced facilities vary, but even the most economic of these facilities, are very expensive indeed. Imagine paying $6,000.00 a month to live in a facility that offers less than is available in ones own home. The price I speak of is in the lower end of the spectrum: some facilities charge much more than this, and any services, outside of the basics, incurs further fees. And if the “Elder” in question were to pass away, these fees continue to be assessed against their estate until their “unit” or “apartment” is re-sold. This I believe will be a problem addressed by the baby boomers, when it becomes their turn to assess their own living arrangements as they age.

I am going to convey the story of my own Mother, in order to help clarify my point of view in regard to this matter. When my father passed away, my mother was already suffering from Lung Cancer that was in remission. She lived in Moyock, NC, and it was difficult for me and my siblings to leave Hampton Roads to tend to her needs. My mother did not drive at this time, and it was necessary for us to see that she had her groceries, made her Dr.’s appointments, and that she had the recreational activities that she so enjoyed. We employed a full time attendant who lived with my Mother, and who was chosen by her out of many applicants. Naomi was her name, and she was truly a Godsend. She had no medical background, for that was not what was needed. She cooked, cleaned, and became a friend to all of us, most importantly to our Mother. We, as her children, took my Mother to all of her Doctor appointments, and Naomi sometimes accompanied us, for she too was interested in my Mother’s medical care. We also saw to all the grocery shopping once a week, kept up her property, ran errands, and saw that every need was met that was outside of Naomi’s ability to facilitate. Naomi enjoyed playing Bingo as much as my Mother, and took her twice a week to that activity. The fees for her services were $1,000.00 a month, plus room and board. All of us children went down several times a month to eat dinner, play games, and watch movies. It was hard on us due to our busy schedules, but we made the time, and are all so very glad we did. My Mother’s remission ended abruptly, and we were soon faced with Hospice, and Naomi was there until the very end. She gave us support through making meals for us, and through her very deep spiritual advice, for we performed all of my Mother’s nursing needs, and Naomi was by my Mother’s bedside when she passed away. The point of this story is that if it is indeed possible; allow your “Elder” to remain in their home, if that is their desire. Prior to hiring Naomi, we took our Mother to several Assisted Living facilities in order for her to see the possibilities and opportunities out there, and we had our free lunches, and the grand tours, but at the end of the day, when we took her home, she sat at her kitchen table, finished her crossword puzzle, turned on the Animal Channel, and then began to read her book...She was home and that is where she wanted to be, and ultimately where she was the happiest.

“Errands For Our Elders” is a company with heart. We are here to help you in your time of need, and will go to all lengths to insure that your loved one has the helping hand necessary to help them remain Independent, and in their own home. We can take care of the housekeeping, cooking, lawn care, Pet Care, shopping, and a plethora of other services...Let us help you, help your “Elder”. Not all of us are extroverts in need of “community”; some of us are “introverts” and need only to be left alone, with a little help from the type of services we offer, your “Elder” can be as happy as they ever have been. Life is short, and not all of us belong in a facility for seniors, but merely to stay at home, surrounded by Loving, and caring individuals.

We here at Errands For Our Elders simply want to be able to give our community, and our Elders, an alternative to living in a facility. God Bless to each and every one of you facing this type of decision, for it is not one to be taken lightly, nor is it an easy decision to make. Please feel free to visit our website at www.elder-errands.com to find out more about our services, and for a free consultation.

Please feel free to express your own opinions in regard to this issue. We can all learn from one another, if we take the time to listen.

Glen Phillips