A great link for those of you caring for an Elder with dementia. Too often we forget that even those with severe dementia can be reached through the medium of music and the Arts in general. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those suffering from dementia, and for those of you caring for Our Elders.
Errands four our Elders Pic
Errands for our Elders
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Baby Boomers Redefine Aging
This year's UN World Health Day on April 7 is dedicated to "Ageing and Health," highlighting the importance of this issue. Statistics show all too clearly why we cannot afford to stick our heads in the sand and continue to view older people as a sickly burden rather than a valuable resource. In more than 20 countries, life expectancy has climbed above 80. Globally, the number of people over 60 is expected to more than double to 2 billion, or 22 percent of the population, by 2050.
Yet despite this transformation, the way we approach old age remains rooted in out of date systems and patronizing stereotypes. At the end of the 19th century, Bismarck invented the social security system we know today. At that time, few people reached the age of 65, and those who did were likely to be in poor health. Economically speaking, it made sense to send them home with a small pension. It was more logical than retaining the worker when they were no longer physically able to be productive.
Now, 130 years later, we still deal with aging as if it was the 19th century. Life expectancy in Germany now is 35 years longer than it was in Bismarck's time. In Western Europe, a woman who reaches 60 will live another 30 years. It's simply not sustainable to ignore that fact. Those 30 years of life after work must be made productive. If not, the cost of maintaining a rapidly growing older population will have a devastating effect on younger generations, who simply won't be able to generate the tax income to support older people's quality of life and growing healthcare costs.
This does not mean stretching out full-time work so that we all continue doing 9-5 until we're 95. We need an entirely different approach, something that recognizes that growing into old age is a long transition taking 20 or 30 years, rather than a sudden cutting off point. It should mean more flexibility in the workplace. It should include staggered retirements and a greater use of sabbaticals, so that an older person can go away for a year, recharge his or her batteries, and come back with more energy and new skills. The idea that older people clog up the workplace, depriving the young of their chance, is misguided: Research shows that for every three older people still in work, a vacancy opens up for a young worker because of the wealth created. Moreover, the older generation -- many of whom have high educational levels and, for sure, a lot more experience than their younger peers -- has an important role to play.
Us baby boomers are precisely the generation who are bringing about this revolution. Never before have we seen a cohort hitting the age of 65 who are so well informed, so wealthy and in such good health. In the same way that my generation transformed adolescence into a protracted period of experimentation, creativity and rebellion, so too are we redefining what it means to age. We are witnessing the emergence of a "gerontolescence," a new period of transition. We will not allow our rights to be ignored and we will not be fobbed off with the idea that all we are fit for is a spot of light volunteering. Of course, there needs to be a proper safety net in place for the vulnerable, but more and more of us who are fit and healthy are insisting that we participate actively in the workplace, in society and in politics.
No country can afford to ignore the aging demographic. The risks are manifold, and are already unfolding around the world. In both the developed and developing world, pension schemes are under pressure, old people's rights are overlooked and the global economy is being put under strain. If we fail to adapt to the new reality, we risk a social convulsion, a fracture dividing the generations which pits one set of interests against another.
Despite these challenges, aging has been one of the most important societal achievements of the 20th century, with 30 years added to life expectancy worldwide. Now we need to make sure that we capitalize on those years by making them as active as possible, for the sake of the individual and society. Baby boomers are leading the way, showing younger people that getting old is the best thing that can happen to them. There is only one alternative to aging. There are many alternatives to aging well.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Scammers Targeting Our Elders
Scam artists are targeting older Americans more than ever. Over the last decade, both complaints and financial losses among baby boomers have skyrocketed, and the trend is expected to accelerate as they age, according to a recent report by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) received more than 1.5 million complaints about financial and other fraud -– up 62 percent in just three years, the report noted. But fraud may be even more pervasive, because researchers say that it often goes unreported.
Scammers see baby boomers as a prime target because of their financial status and size -- around 75 million people -- along with the potential for cognitive decline as the generation ages. According to the report:
The Wall Street Journal recently reported that 2011 was expected to be a record year when it came to enforcement actions for defrauding post 50s. The main culprits behind the scams are unregistered securities:
For example, Keith Grimes -- a 50-something who invested his entire nest egg of $500,000 in what turned out to be a Ponzi scheme -- told the the Wall Street Journal, “Sometimes we think, 'Maybe we were just being too greedy,' ” said Grimes. "But you try to get the best return you can when you've saved through your career to be able to retire."
Additionally, many older people are targeted by grandparent scams -- schemes through which callers claim to be relatives in trouble and in desperate need of money.
Eighty-something Mabel Fielding shared her grandparent scam experience with The Canadian Press. Fielding received a call from a man claiming to be her grandson, who indicated that he had been arrested while attending a wedding and needed bail money. Fielding's grandson is actually in the wedding business, so she didn't probe the request or even ask which grandson it was.
“They had me down so pat,” Fielding told The Canadian Press. “Everything just fell in, especially when they said they were at a wedding and all this and that.” Luckily, a bank teller informed Fielding of grandparent scams before she sent the money. When Fielding later received a call from a supposed granddaughter seeking money, she was prepared.
Initiatives such as National Consumer Protection Week aim to build more awareness of the growing problem. And certain states such as New York, Vermont and Alaska have recently issued warnings about grandparent scams.
The New York Attorney General warns that scammers use a variety of tactics in targeting older adults, including calling late at night, when the victim may not be as alert; asking the victim not to tell anyone about the money request because the requester is embarrassed; and using actual names of people the victim knows. How do these schemers find such information? According to New York's Attorney General:
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) received more than 1.5 million complaints about financial and other fraud -– up 62 percent in just three years, the report noted. But fraud may be even more pervasive, because researchers say that it often goes unreported.
Scammers see baby boomers as a prime target because of their financial status and size -- around 75 million people -- along with the potential for cognitive decline as the generation ages. According to the report:
Baby boomers are accumulating inheritances from their parents, adding to substantial home equity and a lifetime of saving for retirement as the first generation to experience the transition from traditional pensions to 401(k) accounts. When money is combined with cognitive decline among aging baby boomers, it can be a recipe for fraud.Other characteristics that make post 50s vulnerable to fraud include dependency on others, unfamiliarity with the Internet and its risks, and loneliness that makes them more apt to engage with strangers.
The Wall Street Journal recently reported that 2011 was expected to be a record year when it came to enforcement actions for defrauding post 50s. The main culprits behind the scams are unregistered securities:
Exotic unregistered securities such as promissory notes, private placements and investment contracts have emerged as the main vehicles for fraud involving older investors. Of the enforcements in 2010 involving investors age 50 or older, cases involving unregistered securities outnumbered those related to ordinary stocks and bonds by a ratio of five to one, according to the securities administrators' association.While many are struggling after losing money to the recession, post 50s are in a particularly difficult position as they scramble to recoup their savings for retirement. "They are especially vulnerable to retirement-related scams as they reach for higher returns and try to call it quits for good on schedule," wrote TIME.
For example, Keith Grimes -- a 50-something who invested his entire nest egg of $500,000 in what turned out to be a Ponzi scheme -- told the the Wall Street Journal, “Sometimes we think, 'Maybe we were just being too greedy,' ” said Grimes. "But you try to get the best return you can when you've saved through your career to be able to retire."
Eighty-something Mabel Fielding shared her grandparent scam experience with The Canadian Press. Fielding received a call from a man claiming to be her grandson, who indicated that he had been arrested while attending a wedding and needed bail money. Fielding's grandson is actually in the wedding business, so she didn't probe the request or even ask which grandson it was.
“They had me down so pat,” Fielding told The Canadian Press. “Everything just fell in, especially when they said they were at a wedding and all this and that.” Luckily, a bank teller informed Fielding of grandparent scams before she sent the money. When Fielding later received a call from a supposed granddaughter seeking money, she was prepared.
Initiatives such as National Consumer Protection Week aim to build more awareness of the growing problem. And certain states such as New York, Vermont and Alaska have recently issued warnings about grandparent scams.
The New York Attorney General warns that scammers use a variety of tactics in targeting older adults, including calling late at night, when the victim may not be as alert; asking the victim not to tell anyone about the money request because the requester is embarrassed; and using actual names of people the victim knows. How do these schemers find such information? According to New York's Attorney General:
Scammers ... use marketing lists, telephone listings and information from social networking sites, obituaries and other sources. Sometimes, they hack into people's email accounts and send messages to everyone in their contact list.With more and more ways to access personal information through the Internet, it is important that post 50s protect their personal data and remain informed about these threats. In addition, victims need to come forward, something the FBI notes is problematic for older adults:
Older Americans are less likely to report a fraud because they don't know who to report it to, are too ashamed at having been scammed, or don’t know they have been scammed. Elderly victims may not report crimes, for example, because they are concerned that relatives may think the victims no longer have the mental capacity to take care of their own financial affairs.Check out the slide show below to learn 10 red flags for fraud, courtesy of the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.
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MORE SLIDESHOWS
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Spring Is In The Air
“Spring Is In The Air”
My favorite season is now upon us. Spring is a time of renewal and rejuvenation. I think we come out of our winter hibernation and are just as joyful at the first signs of spring as are furry and feathered friends. I am seeing a lot of my Elder friends for the first time since last summer, for a lot of my clients only need to utilize our Lawn Services. I so much enjoy working in the outdoors during the spring and summer, and it is all the more wonderful when I am able to help out our elders enjoy their yards. I have many clients who are gardening aficionados and I have learned a great deal from them over the years. There is nothing more enlightening to me than to be taught about what so many of us take for granted, and that is the joy of nature that surrounds us.
I love setting up the birdhouses, Hummingbird feeders, and filling the plethora of other feeders that my clients so enjoy. Many clients like to set these feeders up close to where they enjoy having their morning coffee, or where they sit on their verandas to take in the beauty of their own sanctuaries that they created for themselves, and that I help keep in good condition during the spring and summer. Some of my clients work me into the ground when they think of a new garden they want planted, or some new shrubbery design they have dreamed of during the winter, but I love every minute of the work.
This season I actually had a client who decided that he needed a new sidewalk that would go all the way around his house, so he could walk on firm ground while inspecting his magnificent array of plants and flowers. He designed the walkway himself, and that included picking up samples of the bricks he wanted to use, and the rocks that serve as the base, and he even drew out a schematic of how the path was to meander throughout his yard. I have been working on this for the past 2 weeks off and on, and we are doing it in sections so he does not have to purchase all of the materials at once. I do not mind doing this in piece work, for he is so excited about the process that when I am working, he comes outside to talk and tell me wonderful stories about his very colorful life. It makes the work easy and I get to learn more about him and a great many other subjects, as well. I am truly blessed with the greatest clients in the world, and am thankful to each and every one of them.
My favorite thing to do for my clients, if they are interested, is building full life cycle Butterfly Gardens
If you know of anyone in need of lawn care please refer them to me and my staff and I will do our best to help them to enjoy their sanctuaries. Remember, you do not have to be an Elder to use my lawn services, but if you are over 55 you will receive a discount! Take care and enjoy your spring!
Please feel free to share your stories about our society’s greatest treasures...Our Elders!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Elders and Their Pets
“Elders and Their Pets”
Working with Elders has a great many rewards, and one of those rewards is the opportunity to meet new people, and to meet their pets. It seems to me that Elders with pets seem to love having a pet to help keep them company, and to give them something other than themselves, to concentrate on. The care that these elders lavish their pets with is very touching indeed. I have clients who take the time every evening to cook special meals for their animals, believing that they can offer more nutritious meals than are offered to pet owners from a can of dog, or cat food. After seeing them prepare the meals on several occasions, I too believe that they are correct. I have a client who actually has a cookbook that gives sound nutritional advice and great easy- to- cook recipes for her pets.Some of my clients choose to give their pets raw meats as treats and to supplement their pet’s diets. Overall, they seem to have healthy and happy pets who give back to them the love they so readily give.
Several times a week, I have the opportunity to walk these pets for my clients who are not as mobile as they once were, and this is a very important service I provide to them, and one that they know to be very important to their pets. Exercise is as important to our pets as it is for us, and it is important that the pets stay on a good exercise regiment. It is also good for the pets to have a different environment to explore, in order to remain sharp of mind and spirit. I usually try to take the pets to a large open field, so they are free to roam and sniff about at their leisure (if the pet is one that will obey commands), and this allows me to throw balls or Frisbees if the pet in question likes to retrieve. For pets who just enjoy a brisk walk through there own neighborhoods, I accommodate them as well. They seem to have favorite haunts they like to re-visit each time I take them out for their walks. I guess they are as much creatures of habit as we can be, as well.
Some of my clients have medicine that their pets need to have once or twice a week, and they may have trouble performing these duties for their pets for a variety of reasons, and so I have become adept at cleaning out ears, giving medication orally, and at applying medicine to their eyes. Each pet is different, but for the most part they know as soon as they see me, the routine medicine application is about to take place and they take it in stride. For some, a little coaxing with a special treat is needed in order to get them to cooperate. It is kind of funny how they seem to know that this is a task that must be preformed for their own health, and some even seem grateful afterwards.
Veterinary appointments are another task I perform for some of my client’s pets, and this is sometimes done with my client accompanying me on the task, and others choose to stay at home while I take their pets to their appointments. We are so lucky here in Tidewater to have so many great Veterinarians, and I have had the opportunity to meet many of them. Pet ownership is a huge responsibility for anyone, and sometimes for our Elders, it is very hard to get their pets to a Vet, and I love to accommodate this request for any of my clients.
There have been so many studies showing how pet ownership increases longevity, helps maintain a healthy lifestyle through exercise with a pet, and how it gives people a sense of purpose when they have a pet to care for on a daily basis. I have also seen in many of my visits to nursing homes how a therapy dog can brighten the day of so many residents just from spending a few minutes with an elder. I have also seen how some homes have a cat, or two, who roam the halls visiting with one resident after another and seem to thrive on having 2 dozen, or more owners.
Pet ownership has so many rewards for all of us, and it seems to really help our Elders have better days filled with purpose and a reason to get some much needed exercise. If you know of an Elder who needs help caring for a pet, whether it is a daily, weekly, or bi-weekly walk, pet-sitting, or help getting them to a Vet appointment, please refer them to my services. I will do all I can to help them enjoy pet ownership.
I think one of the greatest gifts we have been given is our pets. Let’s make sure they are cared for properly, and have everything they need to remain healthy and happy! Life is so much more fulfilling with a pet to share it with. Please feel free to share your Elder/Pet stories with us here on this blog.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Article found in the Huffington Post
Health Care: 8 Ways Baby Boomers Are Transforming The System
I ran across this article yesterday on the Huffington Post website, and thought my readers may want to see this. I have had some experience with Doctors On Call Services here locally, and it is a wonderful service. My suggestion to anyone who is responsible for caring for an elder is that they familiarize themselves with all the benefits their elder’s insurance company offers. Never hesitate to ask the elder’s Primary care physician for a Home Healthcare evaluation if you believe it may be needed. Always ask questions of any Doctor your elder is currently seeing, for if you do not ask…they will not tell. Enjoy the article, and please feel free to comment if you have something to ad to this information.
First Posted: 02/ 6/2012 8:41 am Updated: 02/ 6/2012 9:47 amEvery day in 2012, another 10,000 boomers turn 65. Back in 2003, only 5.7 percent of the
Yup, house calls. Some of them might be video house calls using Skype or a videocam, but still you get the idea. No more driving Mom to the doctor and cooling your jets while she waits to be seen. No more rearranging an entire day around the need to get a flu shot.
Boomers are reshaping the health-care delivery system and doctors who visit their patients in their homes -- or nurses doing blood pressure screenings at senior centers or giving flu shots at drugstores or drawing blood for diabetes tests at churches -- are just a part of what the future of health care looks like, experts say.
Community-delivered services will take over for a lot of routine screenings that are now done in a medical-office setting. And as for the doctor driving to our homes, there are already starting to that through services, like Mobile Doctors, whose doctors have made 250,000 house calls since the company's inception in 1996. The service, which accepts Medicare's assignment, operates weekdays between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Patients are seen within 24 to 48 hours and most diagnostic tests are performed right in the patient's home.
It's the sheer force of boomers' numbers that will demand these and other changes, says
Monday, February 6, 2012
They Have Earned Our Respect
“They Have Earned Our Respect”
I walked into an Assisted Living Facility this morning, in order to pick up a client who had a Doctors appointment at 10:00am, and on the way in, I encountered an exchange between a Med Tech and one of the Elders who resides in that facility. To make a long story short, the Med Tech was talking to this elder as if she was a 10 year old child, and that has always bothered me, but I held my tongue and proceeded to my destination. On my way back down the corridor, I heard the elder tell the Med Tech, “You know honey, I might be old, but I most certainly am not stupid.” I wanted to give this elder a high five and say, “You tell her girlfriend!”, but I refrained and just exchanged a knowing smile with her.
The point I am trying to make here, is that our Elders need to be treated no differently than the way we expect to be treated, with respect and courtesy. The smartest people I know are over the age of 70, and some of them are close to 100 years of age! I think in this culture we have forgotten the times when our ancestors truly depended on the wisdom of their elders to help make hard decisions about the welfare of the collective group; somewhere along the line, this has quit being the status quo, and now, we disregard the thoughts and opinions of our elders, as if wisdom gained from longevity is somehow outdated. I beg to differ with this way of viewing the opinions of our elders. Just because some of our elders do not text, nor go to the internet for information, or even e-mail, does not mean that they lack the capacity to make sound decisions, or give sound advice about current circumstances we, as the youngsters of today, may be facing.
I was complaining to a client the other day who I have known for several years, about this sluggish economy, and he said to me, “Sluggish, huh, in my day we called it a recession at the least, and maybe bordering on a depression. Let me tell you son, you better hope for the best, but always...always...prepare for the worse.” Now, if that is not sound advice, I don’t know what is.
Our elders are just as capable of change as we are, and in many cases, more equipped to deal with change than we are. For is it not true that they have encountered more adversity in their lives than we have? I think that is most certainly true. They may have physical limitations, but that does not equate to mental limitations...the old saying... “You can’t teach old dog new tricks,” is complete malarkey.
About three months ago a client’s brother passed away, and she was not able to attend the funeral. Her family sent her a DVD of the funeral and the memorial service, and when I came to help her with some chores she held out this DVD to me and I simply asked what this was, and when she explained, I knew she really wanted to watch it. She did not have a DVD player, a computer, or even a VCR. I told her that I would come by the next day with my DVD player and I would hook it up, and she could watch it at her leisure. Instead, I went to Wal-Mart and purchased a DVD player for her, thinking that I might be able to get her interested in this technology. Little did I know...?
I showed up the following day with her new DVD player and proceeded to hook it up to her TV, and I must add here that she did, indeed, have an excellent flat screen HD television set. After I had it put all together, she then immediately wanted to watch her DVD, and I did’nt give it much thought at the time and simply placed the DVD in the machine; we began to watch, and before I knew it, we were both in tears, for the presentation was a fantastic memorial to her brother. I felt as if I had known this man personally, and with her reactions to the video, my empathy just escalated through the roof. After we finished watching the video, she shared more stories about her brother, and I could tell that this was her way of grieving and paying tribute to her brother. I could literally see the transformation from grief, to acceptance, of her brother’s demise, and that I was a catalyst to this transformation. After an hour or so, I showed her that I had brought some other DVDS for her to watch, out of my own collection. She showed great interest in the DVD called “Delovely” which is a film about the life of Cole Porter. I wrote down some simple instructions on how to operate the DVD player and left her to her own devices.
The next week, I showed up and she went on and on about how much she loved the DVD player, and lo and behold, she had gone to the library (I told her the library had all kinds of movies) and checked out all kinds of DVDs. She also informed me that she had read the instructional manual and that this player also played CD’S, and that she had also checked out all kinds of music from the library, as well. I could see that the DVD player was well worth the price I had paid, and that she is just as capable of change as anyone else, regardless of her age!
Our elders are just as malleable as any adult, or any child. Just as we approach middle age and realize it takes us a bit longer to learn new things, or to re-learn things we once knew, so too holds true for our elders. Just for fun, I took my laptop over to her house and quickly found a neighbor of hers with an unsecure wireless to tap in to, in order to give her a demonstration of how cool computers can be, and she loved it! I asked her, “What sights that you encountered during your world travels would you most like to revisit?” She said her trip to Ireland Ireland
Please remember, that our elders, with a little time and patience, can function just as well as any youngster, and that even if they are a bit resistant, it is worth your time and money to at least expose them to the things we take for granted in this technological age. To quote a wise woman, “I might be old, but I am most certainly not stupid!”
Please feel free to share your comments, and stories about your encounters with our elders. We are all here to learn from one another and all feedback will be used to further my experience at helping our elders to remain independent.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
"Elders Living Independently"
“Elders Living Independently”
I have decided for this week to address a problem many in our society are currently facing. That problem is whether or not to place our “Elders” into a facility, whether that facility is an Assisted Living facility, or an Independent Living facility. I am not addressing a full service Nursing Home, for that is an entirely different subject. There comes a time in some people’s lives where 24 hour nursing care is a necessity, and that should be solely decided based on the health of our loved one.
I have had the privilege of being in most of our Assisted Living, and Independent living facilities here in Hampton Roads, and it is through this experience that I am writing this particular article. I do not pretend to have all the answers for everyone in regard to this question, but I do believe I am objective enough to give one an alternative view other than the one given by the facilities Marketing Directors, or Client Services. Ultimately, it is up to the family of an “Elder” to make the decision, and even more importantly, it is up to the “Elder” themselves to make this decision. These facilities are not for everyone, and especially not for those elders who have the capacity to remain in their beloved homes that they worked so hard for, and still have the ability to financially maintain.
The fees to live in the above referenced facilities vary, but even the most economic of these facilities, are very expensive indeed. Imagine paying $6,000.00 a month to live in a facility that offers less than is available in ones own home. The price I speak of is in the lower end of the spectrum: some facilities charge much more than this, and any services, outside of the basics, incurs further fees. And if the “Elder” in question were to pass away, these fees continue to be assessed against their estate until their “unit” or “apartment” is re-sold. This I believe will be a problem addressed by the baby boomers, when it becomes their turn to assess their own living arrangements as they age.
I am going to convey the story of my own Mother, in order to help clarify my point of view in regard to this matter. When my father passed away, my mother was already suffering from Lung Cancer that was in remission. She lived in Moyock , NC
“Errands For Our Elders” is a company with heart. We are here to help you in your time of need, and will go to all lengths to insure that your loved one has the helping hand necessary to help them remain Independent, and in their own home. We can take care of the housekeeping, cooking, lawn care, Pet Care, shopping, and a plethora of other services...Let us help you, help your “Elder”. Not all of us are extroverts in need of “community”; some of us are “introverts” and need only to be left alone, with a little help from the type of services we offer, your “Elder” can be as happy as they ever have been. Life is short, and not all of us belong in a facility for seniors, but merely to stay at home, surrounded by Loving, and caring individuals.
We here at Errands For Our Elders simply want to be able to give our community, and our Elders, an alternative to living in a facility. God Bless to each and every one of you facing this type of decision, for it is not one to be taken lightly, nor is it an easy decision to make. Please feel free to visit our website at www.elder-errands.com to find out more about our services, and for a free consultation.
Please feel free to express your own opinions in regard to this issue. We can all learn from one another, if we take the time to listen.
Glen Phillips
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Crown of Age
“The Crown of Age”
In a culture obsessed with youth we sometimes forget that we,
too, will grow old if we are so lucky. I, for one, am enjoying nearing the half
century mark, for with the passing years the hubris of youth seems to be
ebbing, and this allows a growth in the awareness that life should not be taken
for granted...Neither our own lives, nor the lives of our loved ones, for we
are not guaranteed tomorrow, regardless of our age. I remember sitting in a
College classroom filled with a majority of young people. I was already nearing
40 and had lived quite an exciting life, but I was the oldest one in the class
besides the Professor. This was a 300 level Philosophy Class, and the Professor
asked this question on the first day of the course. “By a show of hands, how many of
you expect to die of old age while hooked up to machines and surrounded by
loved ones?”...Almost everyone’s hand quickly rose in the air. Mine did
not. Perhaps it was due to working in the Hospice field for so long, that I
know death does not discriminate, regardless of age. The Professor then shocked
everyone by saying, “I have news for all of you, many of you will
not make it to old age, and you will pass on after having finished a meal, or
after leaving a concert, or will contract a disease in middle age. Live your
lives to the fullest, and develop your potential, and say yes to life,
everyday! Life is not a non-stop party, stop to smell the roses, and remember
your loved ones and friends...do not hesitate to say I love you!” I think
of this Professor a lot, especially while working with my clients, for they
truly give meaning to my life, and I am thankful for them every day.
This last week I had the privilege of working with several
of my “Elders”. I will be writing about two of them in particular today. I
arrived at one of my client’s homes at about 11:00 am one day in order to clean
her home and perform any other chores she may ask of me. This is a woman
nearing 90 years of age, and is inspiring to me in many ways. She was college
educated, before that became the norm, and she continues to read several books
a week, and most of these books are spiritual in nature, or edifying in some
manner. She remains positive regardless of her physical limitations, and I have
never heard her complain about these limitations. I once asked her how one can
live a life without regrets, and she simply said, “Well, I think everyone will have some regrets, but if you get up each
day and do the next right thing, I think that is all we can ask of ourselves.”
I am not sure what I had expected her to say, but I was profoundly touched by
the simplicity of her answer, for it is on this basic premise that I believe
happiness in one’s life can come. It was reinforced later in the week by
another “Elder” of mine.
I had to take a client to the Orthopedic Surgeon’s office
for a post-op appointment, and we arrived about a half an hour prior to her
appointment time. We talk constantly while we are together, and she is truly a
wise woman... not only does she not complain, but she carries herself with the
confidence of a bullfighter, and she is 75 years of age! We are sitting in the
waiting room just talking away on some subject when a man of about 55 came in,
assisted by a cane and in obvious pain; he checked in with the front desk and
sat down beside my client. They began to talk and he told her he had a
cancerous tumor that was attacking his spinal cord, and that he was sent to
this surgeon as a last resort in order to prevent this tumor from causing
paralysis, and his eminent death. She held his hand as he spoke, and began
nodding her head in agreement with what he was saying. She consoled him, told
him he would be in her prayers, and that all would be okay. I could tell by his
reaction, and his words, that this woman, a total stranger, had touched him
deeply. They were both called in by the Doctor at the same time, and I sat
there in the office thinking about their exchange, and how much better the
world would be if we all just took the time to listen to one another and remain
“present” in the conversation, for often we are just thinking of what we are
going to say next, and not listening deeply enough to our fellows. I learned a
lot from her that day, and it was her openness to another’s suffering that
touched me so deeply. I try to operate my life in a similar manner, but need
reminding of this from time to time. On the way home, she openly wept for this
man, and did so unashamedly; I held her hand and just listened. I felt blessed
for having witnessed that exchange, and for having this woman in my life!
The title of this particular blog is called “The Crown of
Age”, which I borrowed from a book by Marion Woodman. I believe one of the
greatest assets in our own personal lives, and in our culture, are “Our
Elders”, and they should be revered, respected, and listened to. They have
lived their lives and have the experience to teach us how to live ours. Aging
does not always bring Wisdom, but conscious aging does. The two women I have
written about today have aged in such a manner that they truly deserve to wear
“The Crown of Age.”
Please feel free to share your inspirational stories about
the Elders in your lives, for all of us can learn from one another...if we only
listen!
Special Thanks to Marion Woodman for all the wonderful books
she has written... her approach to life has taught me so very much. I am
grateful to her for doing the work that inspires me to be a better person!
Glen Phillips
Sunday, January 15, 2012
First Blog
By Glen Phillips
On this cold Sunday morning, as I sat in my home office out
in Pungo, Va. contemplating what subject I would write about for this first
entry in my blog, I found myself at a loss, which is probably a shock to those
who know me, for I am not known as one for a loss of words on any subject.
Especially on subjects dealing with, or relating to, people. I absolutely find
other people to be fascinating. We are truly remarkable beings and each of us
has a story to tell, and the opportunity to add a chapter to our story each and
every day we awake from slumber. We are the authors of our stories, with many
other contributing authors in the form of those we know and love, and even
those, we don’t. So, each day we can choose what kind of story we want our
lives to tell.
This morning, when I could not decide on the subject matter
for this Blog; I remembered that it is “Soulful Sunday” on the Oprah Winfrey
Network (OWN), and I absolutely love Sundays for this very reason. So, I walked
away from the computer and began watching her show, and Lo, and behold, I had
my subject right in front of me. This was an episode where Oprah interviews Dr.
Jill Bolte Taylor, the author of “My
Stroke of Insight”, and I knew immediately, I had to let others know about
this remarkable lady and her recovery from a severe left hemisphere stroke.
As soon as I saw her on Television I remembered having read
her book several years ago, and having spent several months in my book
discussion group dissecting this book, page, by page with my fellow group
members. This is a must read not only for people who have suffered a stroke, or
are caring for someone who has, but for all of us, for there is a common thread
we all share. Each of us has a brain, and all of us are susceptible to a sudden
illness.
What I found remarkable about Dr. Jill’s story was that not
only as a Neuroanatomist does she give us an excellent description of how the
brain works, but she does so in a beautifully orchestrated manner that any
layperson can understand. She not only leads us down the path to understand our
own brains and how they function, but she also leads us on a spiritual journey
to understand that we are not our “thoughts”, and that the chatter we hear
internally, is not our essence. Due to her specialized training in neuroanatomy,
she is able to articulate how that, with the proper kind of understanding of
our inner processes, we can learn to alter our inner dialogue if we so desire.
That it is as easy as tying ones shoe if we simply put our mind to work for us.
Dr. Jill did not know this until she had her stroke, and it was through her
recovery, as she struggled to relearn everything, that she truly learned how to
live. After her stroke she did not know who she was, could not speak, she could
not read, she remembered no one, not even her mother, GiGi, who came to help
her in her recovery. I think the
greatest thing she teaches us in this remarkable book, is that people who have
suffered strokes, or brain injuries, need love, understanding and patience, and
positive energy from their caretakers. And throughout her book she takes us
step, by step, on her recovery, and what she learned about how to take care of
someone who has suffered a similar type of Trauma. On page 120 of her book she writes, “I needed people to come close and not be
afraid of me. I desperately needed their kindness. I needed to be
touched-stroke my arm, hold my hand. Or gently wipe my face if I’m
drooling....I needed my visitors to bring me their positive energy.”
This book is a must read for anyone who has a loved one who
has suffered a stroke, and for anyone who would like to learn more about
themselves in order to live a fuller, more joyful life, for more often than
not, we don’t seem to find the time to take care of ourselves, and yet in the
end, we are the only ones who can.
The name of the book is...My Stroke of Insight, A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey.
ISBN
978-0-670-02074-4
This is my first entry on my new blog. I hope it will help
someone who may have needed this information, and I hope it may compel others
to read the book and learn something new, or review material they already know.
I will be updating my Blog each Sunday, and will cover subjects relating to
Healthcare, and the Care of our Elders, which will of course encompass my holistic
view of how we can write a new positive chapter in the book of our lives each
and every day.
Please feel free to make any comments or suggestions as you
feel the need to do so, but please refrain from any use of pejorative, obscene,
or any language that may offend someone. This is an opportunity for all of us
to share our stories, and learn from one another.
Special thanks to my Brother Chuck for making this forum
possible for me. He not only built my website, but has added this blog to allow
each of you to get to know me better, and the services I offer. This blog would
not be complete without a special thanks to everyone in my book discussion
group; for it was within this group that I truly found kindred spirits who
share my love for knowledge. It is where I found food for the soul, and for the
mind. A special thanks to my teacher, and mentor, Eleanora Woloy.
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